I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
