Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
