??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
