wat bout pragnant strippers??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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