Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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