im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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