take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
