Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i think i just lost a toe
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
