Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
