And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
