your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
