you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
