i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
These tits shall not be calmed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
