I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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