His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
