Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
