how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
