There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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