he shaved USA in his pubs
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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