Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
