My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
