i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
