some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
