i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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