We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
