I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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