On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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