Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
