so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
