WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
