Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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