I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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