nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
