Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
