im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
