4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Nicole vs. Life
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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