It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
