Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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