It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
