Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
