U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The beer is more important than you right now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
