I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
