my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
