fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
