I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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