It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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