He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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