Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
