Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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