U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
