Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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