....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
