The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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