worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
