I wish my penis had an off switch
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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