she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
