Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
