I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
