my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
