He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
