Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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