my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
