She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
