yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Can I color on your dick again?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
